This was originally posted in Lynnette's personal blog (www.lynnettegarces.com):
"So, don't lose heart... though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison." 2 Corinthians 4:16-17
After a month of intentionally spending time with God in regards to "Fostering to Adopt", we have come to a decision. It has been very emotional and draining time of seeking for the directed path only because I was being stubborn in listening to God.
This past Saturday, DJ and I decided to start fostering in November. Our heart was set, which also meant that I would not be able to attend the Women's Arise Conference in January that I already committed to going several months ago.
On Sunday, not knowing that DJ and I made a decision to start fostering starting in November and that I had already made a decision not to go to the conference, my friend Jay pulled me to the side and shared how she really needs me to go to the conference with her as her support. My heart just sunk! I was torn... do I let go of my desires to foster a child or do I be loyal to my friend and attend the conference. After the meeting, I ended up crying to my friend Valeree because I knew in my heart that it was a confirmation from God that I have been pushing aside. God used Jay to shake my heart to listen to His voice.
I got home from church and talked with DJ with tears discussing what was being confirmed in my heart. I shared with him how I felt that in this season God wants me to continue to focus on the ministries He has called me to serve Him in. As I was sharing with pain, the story of Abraham and Isaac resonated peacefully in my heart... which gave me great comfort.
I told God that, "Lord, I will give up my own desires of fostering a child to be obedient to your call for me in the Philippines." tears, tears, tears...as I know God's dream for me is far more greater than mine. I know without a doubt God will bless us abundantly as we focus on drawing even closer to Him. I know that in His precious time God will give us a child whether through fostering or naturally.
Just last night, while in the process of mourning, I got a message on Facebook from a friend April Brangenberg. God bless her as God totally used her to speak encouragement to me... (Thank you April for sharing your wonderful gifts and praying for us)... Her message was a great reminder of what God has shared with me also. God is so amazing!
Here is the godly message she shared with me...
From April Pacleb Brangenberg
Dear Lynnette,
As I was praying for you and DJ regarding the possibilities you are facing about a baby, God brought two things to mind:
1. As much as your heart yearns to hold, love on, and nurture a child of your own, yearn even more deeply for God.
2. As much as you yearn to love on a child with your whole heart... God yearns to love on you... a zillion times more.
He knows you and loves you that much... already!
Can you imagine?
Allow Him to come ever closer to you. Allow Him to drink you in, to hold you, to feel the warmth and tenderness of you in His arms, pressed in so gently and securely upon His chest that you can hear His heart beat - just for you.
Allow Him to embrace you as He feels full and satisfied deep inside - as He breathes in the sweet perfume of you - in the same way that you love to breathe in that sweet, beautiful, joyful "baby smell."
Allow Him to enjoy you in the still quietness and trust of who God is for you... without your questions, fears and doubts. You know He loves you. You know He knows your needs. You know He will continue to provide for you.
You know He will continue to love, nurture and grow you in the likeness of His very own Son, Jesus, because you, dear Lynnette, have been created in your Father's image too.
Allow God to bless you.
And rest in His love.
He is so willing to do this... to do all of this... with you.
Invite Him. Welcome Him. Enjoy Him.
Now. And forevermore.
With much love and joy because we belong to Him,
April
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